Wednesday

How Come?

How come gum manufacturers can’t make a piece of gum that lasts longer than 20 minutes, but can successfully design a gum pack that self destructs as soon as you accidentally pull out one white wrapper that holds the gum and the foil wrapper in place?

How come the hair on your arms never grows past a certain length, while the hair on your head gets long and ratty after only a few weeks? (Maybe that’s only my hair)

How come you can work out for months to get to where you want to be, but can lose everything in a matter of weeks?

How come people bitch about gas prices at $2.20/ gal but go out and buy a Starbucks Vanilla Latte for $4.50/ 12 oz every day? (1 gal = 128 oz = $48/gal of coffee)

How come when someone boring is talking to you, you automatically know exactly when to nod your head or say “Yeah” even though your mind was somewhere else the entire time and you heard nothing they said?

How come they make super high resolution LCD monitors, but the high resolution causes the font and everything else to be so small it kills your eyes?

How come when an appetizer shows up everyone will fight to get the first chip, nacho or whatever, but no one will touch the last chip or nacho left on the plate?

How come employers only offer you more money when you tell them you're leaving?

How come you get charged fees that total 20% of a $20 withdrawal from an ATM? (A $2 ATM fee and Wells Fargo charges another $2 for using a non-Wells Fargo ATM – Getting access to the money you've earned is expensive these days)

How come people sitting at a red light suddenly think it's ok to pick their nose as much as they like?

How come on paydays salaried employees tear open the pay-stub envelope to see how much they’ve made that pay period?

How come my work computer quits working at 4:30 everyday?

5 Comments:

Blogger Courtney said...

You asked....

So here are my thoughts on a couple of the deep questions you posed here...

How come people bitch about gas prices at $2.20/ gal but go out and buy a Starbucks Vanilla Latte for $4.50/ 12 oz every day? (1 gal = 128 oz = $48/gal of coffee)?

You don’t ask how much medicine costs when you’re sick. We're addicts - if gasoline was safe to drink and keep us awake for hours upon hours while under florescent lights, we'd just look the other way....

How come employers only offer you more money when you tell them you're leaving?

Two words: Kenny Rogers.

How come you get charged fees that total 20% of a $20 withdrawal from an ATM? (A $2 ATM fee and Wells Fargo charges another $2 for using a non-Wells Fargo ATM – Getting access to the money you've earned is expensive these days)

ME TOO!!!!! I think banks are like little kids who don’t want to be left out when allowance comes around. If you give $5 to one kid for doing something around the house, the second or third kid had to follow...my mom tried stickers for a while instead of money...just didn't work, the banks were the kids who learned this lesson early....

How come people sitting at a red light suddenly think it's ok to pick their nose as much as they like?

Superheros. I feel like sometimes, when you are driving in a car for a while by yourself, even though you see other cars on the road – they just become objects, sometimes people forget that they are actually occupied with other drivers/passengers, you get into a zone – you develop the superhero ability to become invisible. The only thing capable of breaking this zone (much like Kryptonite broke Superman) is pulling up at a stoplight next to someone you know. This brings you to your knees – what do you do? Usually, you feel obligated to roll down your window and say hi, but really, you don’t have much more to say while yelling across traffic and noise. But usually, the roll down occurs at the beginning of the stop. So that leaves you with at least 20 seconds which suddenly seems like 20 minutes, and you do anything but look back in the direction of the other person – play with your stereo, pretend you’re talking to someone on your cell phone, actually call someone on your cell phone, double check your locks are working, look inquisitively at a receipt for dry cleaning and try to remember exactly which clothes you took in that week.....all tactics to avoid a look-back.

How come on paydays salaried employees tear open the pay-stub envelope to see how much they’ve made that pay period?

I blame the habit on making a Christmas list as a child. Every time I did this, I pretty much got exactly what I asked for (within reason), but still, every time I had a new present appear under the tree, I’d think, “What if I got something that was a total surprise!” So, at an early age I’d put my younger sister in front of the Christmas tree to play with her dolls, then, I’d sneak behind the tree and unwrap my present, and do a horrible job of putting it back together. But, I’d leave her to take the blame. Then when I got a little older, I’d still shake the presents even though I knew that my mom had bought the sweater I wanted while I was at the Gap with her…once she even wrapped a box of Tide just to confuse me (did I mention I’d smell the presents too). I think looking to see what you make each week is the adult way of keeping that glimmer of hope for a good surprise alive.

9:48 PM, August 08, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

To answer one of your "How come's?" - I am a salaried employee, but I open my paycheck stubbs everytime hoping for a raise that maybe my boss forgot to notify me about, or maybe even a slip-up in payroll, that I of course wouldn't tell anyone about, unless it was less than what I'm supposed to be getting... hope that helps clarify one of your "How come's"....

3:24 PM, August 10, 2005  
Blogger Josh said...

I agree Jane. I frantically tear mine open in hopes of seeing a few extra dollars than the last time or maybe even a SURPRISE bonus by the executives. Each time, disapointed more so than the last. You know the OCM.

5:53 PM, August 10, 2005  
Blogger Courtney said...

Hopefully you never find that they just "fixed the glitch" on your paychecks - Office Space.

Errors could go either way....ouch!:)

9:47 AM, August 11, 2005  
Blogger Josh said...

Courtney, the movie Quote Master....


Ahem, dork!

10:19 AM, August 11, 2005  

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